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Raising an Independent Teen LadyPens,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
I remember posting on a message board about opening a checking account for my 16 year old. She and I had picked a date,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], gone to the bank, brought all of the paperwork and opened her account. She and I both were both excited.
I was truly amazed at the large number of moms who thought I was crazy. They each had different reasons,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], for thinking I was nuts. They did not feel their own children could handle the responsibility of having a checking account, or they did not feel their own children would understand that having more checks did not mean they had money,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or they did not believe a 16 year old should have their own checking account. Many women said they did not believe the part time babysitting job their child had,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], gave the child enough money to justify opening an account.
In just two years all of these kids will be 18. Many will be leaving home. If they have not been taught money management, have not been taught how to balance a checkbook and have not been taught how to use a check book register while at home,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], how will they know when they leave home?
Having worked in a college bookstore, I can share numerous stories of 18-20 year olds who had no idea how to write a check,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], how to record a check or how to balance a checkbook. A few students were not even sure where to sign their checks. Others, when asked to please print their local address on the check, put it on the bottom under the routing numbers. They did not realize that this was not ok.
If as a parent you truly believe your 16 year old is not ready for the responsibility of a checkbook,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then consider an Excel spreadsheet. When my daughter was about 13,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we created two spreadsheets. One was for clothing and one was for school lunches. We looked at how much money I spent in an entire year on her clothing. This was her beginning balance. Each time we bought shoes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], pants, earrings etc, she had to record the purchase. Excel does the math,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so she was able to see her total balance go down as she made purchases. She also could look at her total left and make choices of what was more important, the very expensive pair of shoes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or a few new sweatshirts for winter. She knew when the money was gone,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], there was no more. If her choice was the shoes and she had no warm clothes, she have to wear last years,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or wear mine. What teen wants to wear mom clothes?
Her lunch allowance was a running total. She began each week with $5. If she did not spend it in week one, then at the beginning of week two she had $10. Again,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Excel did the math,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but she needed to add the $5 each Monday and then deduct what she spent each day. If she did not record purchases, she was not given $5 the following Monday.
These spread sheets taught her how to add money in and subtract money out while recording where the money went.
The other area where I believe we can help our kids become independent is shopping for food and cooking. A 16 year old is plenty old enough to prepare one meal a week. If their schedule does not allow one meal a week, then try one meal per month. If you don help your child learn to choose ingredients, read a recipe and cook a meal, how will they know how to do this when they no longer live with you? My older daughter has a friend getting married next week. Right now, this gal eats McDonalds twice a day. She doesn cook. Not only is this expensive,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but it is so unhealthy. We make awesome burgers at home. We load on BBQ sauce and onion rings, or teriyaki sauce with pineapple rings, or many other toppings. So,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we do eat burgers,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but we make them ourselves. Both of my kids can make great burgers.
Both of my kids have always gone to the market with me. They know how to read labels, check ingredients in products and pick out fresh fruits and vegetables. Again, if they don do this with you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], how will they know how to do this when they leave your home? My kids also know how to shop for store sales. Read our full Terms of Service.
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